Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
FUCK WHALES
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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