My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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