it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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