Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't tell me you're on acid again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
