what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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