I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I currently don't understand fingers.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize