First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
