Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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