i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize