I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
