did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Randomize
