If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
