Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
