ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
