some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
