as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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