It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
