From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
