Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
