we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
