After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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