she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
