8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
be right there i have to get my cape
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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