Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
