i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
