I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
