Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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