do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
