Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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