At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
