why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
