so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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