Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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