Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
