I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He felt like a one man threesome
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
