just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
