Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize