Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
