im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
