i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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