Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
