pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
