This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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