ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
