ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
