your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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