just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
