Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
