Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
