You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
