Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
