Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
