hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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