I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
