and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
