he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
